


Feeling good as hell

by MerlinWept



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Multi, Self-Insert, Self-Insert as Betty Cooper, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-08-13 18:18:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20178640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerlinWept/pseuds/MerlinWept
Summary: She watched the first episode of the show out of some token feeling of affection for the comics and knew nothing about the world of Riverdale. Only that it was a dystopian version of the comics. Which is why when she woke up in a taller, blonder body with a ridiculously tight ponytail, evidently suddenly Betty Cooper, she pretended to have hit her head and ‘forgotten everything’. (SI!Betty Sloooow Burn)





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Betty is his best friend.

This has been a fundamental truth in Archie’s life ever since he and Jughead had their falling out.

But she is his best friend because she is the  _ best  _ friend he has, not because she is his  _ best friend _ . He doesn’t know her nearly as well as he probably should. So his first hint that something is off about Betty is not something he sees in her.

Rather, it is the fact that across Pop’s, in the booth where Jughead is sitting typing away, he looks up and follows every move Betty makes into the diner with a frown on his face.

It takes a while for Archie to recognise exactly what is wrong. Slowly he begins to catalogue all the things.

Like the fact that Kevin was there. Kevin is more Betty’s friend than his but despite the fact that Archie only called Betty, he was there.

Like the fact that Betty’s usually perfect pony is not that perfect. Instead it is a messy thing, every moment she makes causing more small strands to fall out of it.

Like the fact that there is not a speck of pink on her, not on her mouth, nor her clothes. Like the heavy weight of her boots, which he noticed given the way she pulled her feet up onto the seat.

Once he starts he can’t stop seeing it all. The ton of hand gestures she suddenly uses, the big laugh, the different smile. He turns to her, frowning so hard he can feel a headache dawning and asks, “Are you alright?”

The words leave and he wonders why he said them. Either she’s fine or she’s not but that doesn’t answer his preponderance of what the hell is making her so different.

But something in his voice must give it away and Kevin’s exuberant smile drops as well.

Betty looks unconcerned and shrugs. “I had a bit of a head injury at the internship, slipped and fell. All of Riverdale and you all, is kind of fuzzy. Makes for a bit of a change.”

“Oh my God, are you okay?!” Archie asks and while Betty rolls her eyes at him as if he’s the one being weird, Kevin fills him in.

“There’s no long lasting  _ damage _ , but the doctors think she is unlikely to regain her memories.”

“Yep, apparently some shit went down with Polly and I am repressing a  _ lot _ .” She says nonchalant, stuffing onion rings into her mouth. “Should have seen my mother, that woman went nuts. The doctor has asked me to check in with him every other week and I am pretty sure if I don’t do that he is going to call CPS on her.”

“Betty, I am so sorry,”

“No worries, can’t miss what you don’t remember. Everything's totally different, I mean Kevin even says that I used to have a major crush on you and let me tell you, at the moment, the idea of getting it on with a ginger is seriously repulsive.” As Archie ponders that (not quite) shocking news, Betty cocks her head and frowns, “Although, maybe that’s because my repressed hate for Jason Blossom is being channelled into making you a no-crush zone.”

“I don’t know what to say.” Archie said and they sat there in silence, Kevin’s eye flicking between Archie and Betty absently.

Minutes passed, awkward tense minutes where nothing happened, and they ate slowly to fill the silence. The sudden ding of the bell as someone enters Pop’s shakes them out of it and as Archie turns to see who it was, seeing a dark hooded cape and nothing more, his attention is forced away as Betty stands up with a heavy sigh.

“I’m getting bored.” She says bluntly and Archie is sent reeling again. She turns to him suddenly, “Hey, you said that you don’t want to work at your dad’s company right?”

“Yeah, I-” Archie swallows, thinking of all the things he needed to tell his dad, all the things he’d hoped to run by Betty before it came tumbling down. “Why’d you ask?”

“I’m looking to get a job and if you’ve left an empty slot then…”

“ _ You _ ?! Working in construction?!”

Betty's eyes narrow as she turns to him with a glare. “I can do anything I want and no one can stop me.” She declares before turning to grin widely at Kevin, glare at Archie one last time before stomping out.

“What the hell is going on?!” Archie can’t help but ask Kevin and his usually perfect posture drops as he slumps onto the table.

“I don’t know but we can’t let her do this alone.”

Outside, Archie watches as Betty climbs onto a blue bicycle with a white wicker basket attached, something he hadn’t seen her use in four years and must have been lying around in her basement. She waves a goodbye at Pop from outside and wheels off, the blonde hair looking gold under the street lights. The thought occurs to him and he can’t let it go.

“Was Betty unhappy before?”

Because she seems so unnaturally happy and cheerful to him now.

Kevin doesn’t answer, only looks out the window with a frown. The click of heels on tile breaks them out of their stupor and they turn to see a beautiful brunette girl looking at them with a friendly smile.

“Hi!” She says cheerfully.

“Hey,” Archie answers suddenly conscious of the concrete stains on his jeans.

“How are the onion rings here?”

Archie’s in an absolute daze and if asked later, he wouldn’t be able to tell what he’d told the girl, only that they’d talked and she’d smiled and he’d smiled and then she left.

He turns to see Kevin looking at him with absolute disgust.

“I get the feeling Betty’s better off not remembering you. She deserves better anyway.” He says and leaves.

Archie droops and curls himself around the fries in front of him.

He can’t wait for school to begin.

* * *

She watched the first episode of the show out of some token feeling of affection for the comics. She was named Elizabeth for one of the characters, after all. It didn’t hold her interest for long so she stopped but she heard about the latest developments from her friends.

But beyond that she knew nothing about the world of Riverdale. Only that it was a dystopian version of the comics.

Which is why when she woke up in a taller, blonder body with a ridiculously tight ponytail, evidently suddenly Betty Cooper, she pretended to have hit her head and ‘forgotten everything’.

Betty Cooper forgot everything. Lizzie Evans remembered everything.

But mostly, she remembered being loved by her mother. Unconditionally so. Remembered a mother who let her make mistakes as long as she knew she could come crying to her. Remembered a mother whose main concern was her eating enough and being happy. Remembered a mother who

Alice Cooper was a severely poor replacement.

And it is this that galvanizes her, renews her incentive, her drive and Lizzie decides she  _ will  _ find a way back home, no matter what it takes.

  
_~Fin~_   
  



	2. Chapter 2

Veronica swallowed as she waited outside the office. Her peer mentor was late and she knew nothing about him except for the fact that he wasn’t exactly punctual. The hallway where she was was completely empty. At the very end she could see students passing by in groups. Most of them would have gone to elementary and middle school together. Known each other since they were in diapers.

Know that she was the daughter of Hiram Lodge, recently convicted. They’d probably look at her and turn to whisper into their friend’s years and giggle and share shocked looks, the way all the others in New York had.

Only the knowledge that her lipstick wasn’t matte and would smudge over her teeth easily stopped her from chewing on her mouth. It was a terrible habit and one she had kicked ages ago, only for it to start again when the scandal broke.

The sound of footsteps broke her out of her thoughts and she turned with a bright grin to whom she was sure was her peer mentor. When it turned out to be a blonde girl bobbing her head to whatever was blasting through her earphones instead, she dropped the smile and pretended like she’d never done it. Luckily the girl hadn’t noticed, busy flipping through the book in her hand instead.

The girl stopped at the office door before frowning and whipping her head in all directions. Absently Veronica realized why she looked familiar. This was the same girl she’d seen leaving Pop’s while she had entered. 

“Is Kevin not here yet?” the girl asked Veronica and she startled.

“Kevin?”

“You’re Veronica Lodge, right? Kevin Keller is your peer mentor, I was hoping you’d seen him.”

Kevin Keller, she knew that name. He was the boy with the red-headed Ansel Elgort last night at the diner. He’d introduced himself and then gone back to staring out the window.

Staring at the blonde girl who’d left seconds before she talked to them, Veronica realized. How strange, she’d been certain he was gay and yet a possible girlfriend of the boy stood in front of her. Maybe he wasn’t out yet? Maybe Riverdale wasn’t the kind of town you could be out in. 

“No, I haven’t seen him. I had no idea he was going to be my peer mentor, the woman at the office only told me that my original peer mentor, some Elizabeth Cooper, wasn’t available anymore.”

“Yeah, that’d be me. Call me Liz.”

Liz stuck a hand out and Veronica shook it politely, taking a good look at the girl. Very pretty, but would be beautiful when she dressed up in something other than flannels and layers and doc martens with star patterned socks sticking over their tops.

“Pleasure to meet you,” Veronica said, shaking her hand as her dad had taught her, firm but not tight, and felt a pang at the thought. “So, I have to ask, why couldn’t you be my peer mentor?”

“Oh, I’ve had a traumatic brain injury and it’s caused a loss of all my episodic memory, so I don’t really remember the school at all. It’s why I’m waiting here, I figured I could tag along on your school tour and maybe get some idea about it myself.” She said with a cheerful grin despite the frankly horrifying content of her speech.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” What did one say to someone who’s just forgotten their life, Veronica wondered.

“Could be worse, I’m still alive.” The girl said, flippant and Veronica was taken aback. Luckily, she was saved from responding as Kevin all but jogged towards them. He threw his arms around Liz, and Veronica found herself feeling strangely jealous. 

“Sorry I was late. I heard that they might be cancelling the semiformal and needed to know if that was really going to happen.” Kevin said brightly before finally turning to her, “Hi Veronica. We didn’t have the chance to talk yesterday. I’m Kevin and I’ll try to fill the enormous shoes of Betty Cooper today.”

“Join the club!” Liz said and as the meaning of what she said sunk in, Kevin’s smile became more fixed while Liz cackled.

“You’re doing that on purpose!” Veronica remarked in a loud voice she hadn’t intended right at Liz (Betty?) and Kevin startled.

“You caught me.” Liz said, unapologetic while Kevin freaked out.

“You’re messing with me while I’m going crazy thinking about-”

“About things you can’t control. You can’t force me to remember anything. No one can, not even I. And even if I did, I might still be a different person from whom you’re expecting. Trauma does that to you. The sooner you stop looking at me like I’m a ghost, expecting Betty to be there, the better, because it’s not going to happen. Managing expectations is important.”

Veronica shifted on the balls of her feet, trapped being witness to a strangely intimate moment.

Finally Kevin sighed, “I’ll try, just...it might take me a while.”

“More than what my mother’s doing so thank you very much.”

“The Semiformal!” Veronica said suddenly, wanting the far too intimate nature of the conversation to go away. Hearing gossip was one thing but hearing this was making her very uncomfortable.“Is it really being cancelled?”

“They’re going to tell us at the assembly. Cheryl’s giving a speech and everything.”

“Cheryl?” Veronica asked.

“Jason’s sister.”

“Who’s Jason?”

“Jason and Cheryl Blossom are...were twins. Jason supposedly fell into the river over summer and is currently presumed dead, however given that no body’s been found yet it’s a bit of a mystery.” Liz (Betty?) explained. Kevin snorted and took over.

“The Blossom twins were infamous, popular and very close. Some say a bit too close and, well, he was the captain of the water polo team, the Aquaholics so the idea of him drowning is a bit...weird. People think Cheryl might have done him in in a possessive rage, she’s not the most balanced person. Or that he’s alive somewhere. You should be thankful though, any other year and you’d have been the talk of the town but now…”

As the talk continued and they began walking around the school, Veronica sighed deeply. In the shadow cast by Jason Blossom over Riverdale, Hiram Lodge’s scandal would be ignored.

Even if only for a little while, she was free.

* * *

“It’s fine. Folk music isn’t my thing.” Liz said and shrugged before returning to her book. Archie had just played his demo for them and while it was nice enough, it wasn’t the genre of music she gravitated towards nor the type of lyrics. Maybe Betty did but Liz was fonder of ambient chill music with a morbid tinge to the lyrics. 

“Wait, that was you singing? Something you wrote?” Veronica’s voice came and Liz looked up to find her hovering there with her lunch in hand. She waved at the girl before ducking back into the book. The rest continued to talk while Liz zoned out. The reality of breaking into the music industry was different from whatever romanticised idea Archie had, and Liz had no desire to be the one to break it to him, so she hoped Kevin and Veronica would do it instead.

She had only begun the next page when an uppity voice shattered her trance-like state once again.

“Betty would you mind?” And Liz once again looked up from the book to find Cheryl Blossom staring at her with a very fake smile.

Whatever distasteful thing she wanted to say to the person disturbing her died out. She had more than a little bit of pity for this girl. 

Vaguely she remembered that, for the most part Cheryl had been under the impression that Jason was alive and simply faking his death up until the body was found. She had no idea that her brother was dead and Liz had no intention of antagonizing the girl in her current state of mind.

“Yeah, of course.” She said and slid down the seat only to earn looks of surprise from both Kevin and Cheryl alike. Cheryl pointedly ignored her to talk to Veronica about the River Vixens, Riverdale’s cheerleading squad, which was when she decided to fuck the pity and fuck with Cheryl instead.

“_You’re _ the leader of the cheerleading squad?” She packed as much disbelief as she could into her voice and it earned her the fiery ire of Cheryl.

“Who else would it be, not your sorry excuse of a sister who conveniently disappeared.”

“No, but you’ve just become a sophomore. Are there no juniors or seniors on the cheerleading squad? Because this just makes it seem like the setup of a teen drama where they want to capitalize on skewed power dynamics and the fanaticism a teen audience maintains, while keeping the actors in high school for multiple seasons.”

When confused and dazed stares are aimed at her, Liz smiles knowing that when she’s alone she will remember this moment and laugh her ass off. 

Cheryl leaves then, but not before shooting her a nasty look, Veronica a sweet one and giving out her social media details. It is only when she does that that Liz remembers coming across a youtube video that the actress playing Cheryl had made.

“Life in Riverdale is very meta.”

“Are you sure the memory loss is the only thing that happened when you got the bump on your head?” Veronica asked, sounding a bit more confident now and Liz burst into laughter.

If only they knew.

  



End file.
